Tangerine: The Final Pictures

On Sunday, Tangerine hid under the bed for several hours. I finally moved the bed, retrieved him, and put him on the bed. His purr was just barely audible.

He sat in the hallway for a while and ate a tiny bit of food, but he refused the water I offered. Could it be that he didn't want to lose control of his bladder as had happened earlier, or am I ascribing to a cat a degree of logic that cats are presumed not to possess?

When Tangerine went downstairs, I opened the front door so that he could look out.

By the door

Whenever the temperature and humidity made it possible to have the door open, Tangerine would be there.

Scampi came to join him.

Scampi and Tangerine

One of Tangerine's eyes was already in bad shape, so I'm not sure what he saw, but he seemed to enjoy sitting there.

Eye

No complaints. Just waiting quietly.

No complaints

A big patch of belly fur had to be removed for the ultrasound.

T at the door

After a few minutes, he was tired and ready to leave.

Tired

I took him back upstairs, put him on the bed, and offered him a mouse.

With mouse

Mouse

And on a gloomy, rainy day that matched my mood, he fell asleep.

Sleeping

Tangerine's Last Day

When I went to bed Sunday night, Tangerine was under the bed. At 12:30 Sunday morning, he jumped up onto the bed and, after sitting for half an hour, rested his chin on my hand. His breathing was shallow and the purr was gone—just an occasional slight vibration.

Around 1:20, he tried leaning on my foot, then placed a paw on my foot; at 2:30 he slept between my feet but his sneezing had become more frequent. Shortly before 3, he returned to the floor and slept in several locations around the perimeter of the room before crawling back under the bed.

A kitty knock on the door woke me at 4:45. Scampi wanted to come in. He sat with Tangerine, briefly, under the bed. Six o'clock approached and Tangerine continued to sit under the bed, head erect, waiting patiently. Cheese asked to come in, but couldn't find Tangerine.

As much as I wanted to retrieve Tangerine, put him on the bed, and pet him, he was under the bed because he wanted to be there and I felt that it was important to honor that choice.

Tangerine's last day was dark and rainy.

Cheese returned and, I think, said goodbye to Tangerine as he sat under the bed. At 8, I made a 10 o'clock appointment for him with The Cat Doctor. At 9, he came out from under the bed as if he knew there was a schedule to be maintained. Perhaps he's related to Skimbleshanks, The Railway Cat, from the musical Cats.

I sat with him for the next 40 minutes and we left the house at 9:45, Phyllis driving and me holding him. I could not bear to put Tangerine into a carrier for this final trip. Tangerine is a cat who always hated going anywhere in the car and he mentioned that to us several times on the trip.

He died quietly, peacefully, and without additional pain shortly after 10 from a massive overdose of sodium pentothal. Doctor Weller lost a cat to the same disease recently and said that she believes this cancer is particularly painful.


It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
—Gaff in Blade Runner


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